{"id":4623,"date":"2025-12-23T15:02:47","date_gmt":"2025-12-23T15:02:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/?p=4623"},"modified":"2025-12-23T15:02:47","modified_gmt":"2025-12-23T15:02:47","slug":"my-dad-refused-to-come-to-my-wedding-but-i-still-asked-for-the-gift-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/?p=4623","title":{"rendered":"My Dad Refused to Come to My Wedding, but I Still Asked for the Gift"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Okay, so\u00a0I never thought I\u2019d be\u00a0writing one of\u00a0these\u00a0\u201cAm\u00a0I\u00a0the jerk?\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0letters, but here we\u00a0are. Even typing this makes me\u00a0roll my\u00a0eyes at\u00a0myself, but\u00a0I need outside brain input<\/strong>\u00a0because my\u00a0thoughts keep looping like a\u00a0weird GIF.<\/p>\n

So, I\u00a0(27F) got married recently. Big day, lots of\u00a0stress. My\u00a0dad and\u00a0I have always been the quiet-understanding kind\u2014he\u2019s not chatty, but\u00a0he\u2019s been there for the important stuff.<\/strong>\u00a0So\u00a0when he\u00a0told me\u00a0he\u00a0couldn\u2019t<\/i>\u00a0come to\u00a0my\u00a0wedding, I\u00a0felt… off. Not dramatic, just blindsided.<\/p>\n

My\u00a0sister got married two years ago, and Dad gave her a\u00a0car. A\u00a0proper grown-up car\u2014not cheap. I\u00a0was genuinely happy for her, but when he\u00a0said he\u00a0wouldn\u2019t be\u00a0at\u00a0my\u00a0wedding, that small, stupid jealousy bubbled\u00a0up.<\/p>\n

I\u00a0said, probably too snappily, \u201cIf\u00a0you can\u2019t come, I\u00a0at least deserve the same car you gave her.\u201d It\u00a0was bratty, I\u00a0know, but\u00a0in\u00a0my\u00a0head it\u00a0felt fair.<\/strong>\u00a0He\u00a0didn\u2019t answer\u2014just sighed and moved\u00a0on. We\u00a0never really talked about it\u00a0again.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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A life-altering choice now rests in her hands.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a9\u00a0Karola G \/ Pexels<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Cut to the wedding day. I\u2019m doing the smile-that-doesn\u2019t-mean-it thing for photos. People kept asking where my dad was, and I gave the awkward shrug people give when they\u2019re trying not to cry.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Then my\u00a0uncle pulled me\u00a0aside,\u00a0looking like he\u00a0was about to\u00a0spill something huge.<\/strong>\u00a0He\u00a0reached into his pocket, and for a\u00a0hot second\u00a0I actually thought, \u201cOh\u00a0my\u00a0gosh, he\u00a0brought the car key.\u201d Instead he\u00a0handed me\u00a0a\u00a0folded note from my\u00a0dad<\/strong>\u00a0and a\u00a0small bank card with a\u00a0big amount on\u00a0it, in\u00a0my\u00a0name.<\/p>\n

Apparently Dad had been quietly saving money for his kidney treatment.\u00a0He\u00a0didn\u2019t tell anyone<\/strong>\u00a0because he\u00a0didn\u2019t want\u00a0us worrying. After my\u00a0comment about the car, he\u00a0decided he\u2019d rather give that money to\u00a0me\u2014to buy a\u00a0car or\u00a0whatever\u00a0I needed\u2014but said it\u00a0was my\u00a0choice to\u00a0accept or\u00a0refuse.<\/p>\n

And now I\u2019m indecisive.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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\u00a9\u00a0Cleyton Ewerton \/ Pexels<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Omg, give it back!! If not, YTA for your selfishness. Really, what’s more important, a car or your father. This shouldn’t even be a question. You don’t deserve it. Or him.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Part of\u00a0me\u00a0feels like taking it\u00a0is\u00a0sensible\u2014I want that car;<\/strong>\u00a0it\u00a0would make life easier; I\u00a0worked my\u00a0butt off planning a\u00a0wedding, and I\u2019m allowed to\u00a0want something nice. But another part keeps circling: is\u00a0accepting this me\u00a0commodifying his illness?\u00a0Will people treat me\u00a0differently?<\/strong>\u00a0Will I\u00a0always think, \u201cI\u00a0bought this because Dad might not be\u00a0around\u201d?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sobbing or\u00a0crawling into a\u00a0pit of\u00a0guilt.\u00a0I\u2019m more like… puzzled.<\/strong>\u00a0I\u00a0appreciate that he\u00a0trusted me\u00a0with something so\u00a0personal, and\u00a0I don\u2019t want to\u00a0disrespect that. But I\u00a0also don\u2019t want to\u00a0refuse what could help me\u00a0just to\u00a0prove a\u00a0point about fairness.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So\u00a0I\u00a0haven\u2019t used the money yet. I\u2019ve told him thank you, sort\u00a0of, and we\u2019ve been talking more, which is\u00a0nice. But\u00a0I\u00a0can\u2019t decide if\u00a0I should take the card and buy the car<\/strong>\u00a0I actually want or\u00a0say no\u00a0to\u00a0keep things simple and not feel weird about it\u00a0later.<\/p>\n

Am\u00a0I\u00a0selfish for even wanting\u00a0it? Or\u00a0reasonable?\u00a0I\u00a0wanted an\u00a0outside take.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2014\u00a0Maddison<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Should Maddison spend the money?<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a9\u00a0Tima Miroshnichenko \/ Pexels<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Is she being selfish?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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It\u2019s easy to see why some might think Maddison is being selfish\u2014after all, she asked for the same car her sister got, and now she\u2019s debating <\/span>using money her dad saved for something serious.<\/strong>\u00a0On\u00a0the surface, it\u00a0can look like she\u2019s thinking about herself first, especially since her dad\u2019s health is\u00a0involved.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/form>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/section>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But then again, wanting something she worked hard for, something that would make her life easier,\u00a0doesn\u2019t automatically make her selfish.<\/strong> She\u2019s weighing her feelings, her dad\u2019s intentions, and fairness\u2014all while trying not to overstep. It\u2019s complicated.<\/p>\n

Did her dad do the right thing?<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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Her dad\u2019s choice is <\/span>definitely one for debate.<\/strong>\u00a0On\u00a0one hand, he\u00a0showed a\u00a0lot of\u00a0trust and generosity by\u00a0giving Maddison access to\u00a0that money\u2014he clearly wanted her to\u00a0have something special, and it\u00a0could make her life easier. It\u2019s kind of\u00a0a\u00a0thoughtful, practical gesture in\u00a0a\u00a0weird, emotional situation.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But on\u00a0the flip side, the money came from his kidney treatment savings, something deeply personal and serious. Some might argue\u00a0it\u2019s risky or\u00a0complicated<\/strong>\u00a0to\u00a0mix that with a\u00a0gift, even if\u00a0it\u00a0was meant lovingly. It\u2019s not black and white.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, so\u00a0I never thought I\u2019d be\u00a0writing one of\u00a0these\u00a0\u201cAm\u00a0I\u00a0the jerk?\u201d\u00a0letters, but here we\u00a0are. Even typing this makes me\u00a0roll my\u00a0eyes at\u00a0myself, but\u00a0I need outside brain input\u00a0because my\u00a0thoughts keep looping like a\u00a0weird GIF. … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4618,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24,20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4623","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4623","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4623"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4623\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4628,"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4623\/revisions\/4628"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4618"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4623"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4623"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readinstory.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4623"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}