I’m Janine, and I’ve spent my entire life working in a school kitchen. It was hard, manual work that left me exhausted every day, but it put food on the table and a roof over my children’s heads. Because I lived through that struggle, I wanted something more for my daughter—a “real career” with stability and prospects.
So, when she told me she was engaged to a janitor, I panicked. I told her (too bluntly) that she should think about her future and find someone with a better path. She was furious, calling me classist and judgmental. We didn’t speak for days.
The turning point came when they stayed over after a family dinner. I couldn’t sleep and ended up overhearing them in the guest room. I heard her fiancé say, “Your mom worked in a school kitchen her whole life and thinks my work isn’t respectable?”
My stomach dropped. Hearing it out loud made me realize how hypocritical I sounded. I wasn’t looking down on him; I was projecting my own exhaustion and the hardships of my own life onto her. I thought I was protecting her, but I was actually disrespecting the very kind of honest work that raised her. I realize now that stability isn’t just about a job title—it’s about the person.
