A few months ago, my younger brother Nate called me out of the blue, begging me to help his friend land a job. Little did I know that call would change the lives of both his friend and me.
“Maria, big sis, I need a favor,” he said, drawing out the middle words like he was already expecting a no.
I sighed, tossing my phone between my hands. I knew when he called me “big sis” that the favor was also going to be huge. “What kind of favor?”
“It’s about my buddy, Jake. We were in the same program at college. He’s a super smart guy, I mean, brilliant, but he’s been striking out on interviews left and right lately. I think he’s just nervous or something. Could you… maybe pull some strings?”
Ironically, at the time, I was leading a hiring panel at my tech firm for a mid-level software engineering role. It was a good role with a competitive salary, equity, and full benefits. It was the kind of job that could really change someone’s life.
And if I made a successful referral? I’d get a bonus! But not just any bonus, enough to finally cover the deposit for my daughter’s new private school. I was pretty much a single parent because my ex was months behind on support, and without help, I was running out of options.
So yeah, Nate’s timing was perfect.
“Send me his resume,” I told him.
“Thanks, sis! Anything you can do will be appreciated.”
Fifteen minutes later, I opened the PDF on my laptop and sat back in disbelief.
This guy looked amazing on paper and was perfect for the position available!
He had years of experience, a solid list of companies, glowing recommendations, and a couple of side projects that were more advanced than what half my current team had built.
I called my brother back. “Can you ask him if we can meet up for a little coaching session? There’s a job at my company that he’d be excellent for.”
Nate was thrilled and got Jake to get in touch with me.
When we met at my place, Nate’s friend seemed like a decent person. We went through some questions that he’d come across during the screening interview. I gave him a breakdown of each interviewer, told him which skills to highlight, and even did a mock run to smooth out any awkwardness.
I guided him where I could, and when we were done, I believed he was ready and told him human resources (HR) would be in touch.
I emailed HR immediately after he left, mentioning that I’d helped coach a possible candidate and put in the referral. A week later, Jake breezed through the technical screening via video call! Every engineer on the interview call pinged me afterward with the same message: “We like him! Great candidate!”
I happily scheduled his final round for the following Thursday, already picturing how relieved I’d be when my daughter’s school fees were taken care of.
The night before the last interview, I spoke to Jake on the phone.
“You’ve got this, Jake,” I said, feeling hopeful. “Just be yourself.”
He chuckled. “Got it! Thanks for everything, Maria! Nate is lucky to have you as a big sister.”
I blushed and thanked him before hanging up to put Cynthia, my daughter, to bed.
The next morning, I waited with two of my co-workers in the conference room. My boss, Aaron, had arrived earlier and sat quietly at the end of the table with his notepad. He was a tough read, brilliant but not overly friendly.
When Jake walked in, the air changed.
He wasn’t smiling for some reason, not even a little. He just nodded stiffly and sat down.
I tried to keep things light. “Good to see you, Jake. Let’s start with introductions.”
We all took turns speaking briefly. Then, when it was his turn, Jake cleared his throat and said, “Let me tell you a little bit about myself.”
“Go ahead,” I said, smiling.
And he started talking.
For the first couple of seconds, it was fine. His introduction was a bit dry, maybe, but structured. He talked about his first job out of school, his pivot into cybersecurity, and some side projects. I nodded along, waiting for a natural break.
Then he surprised everyone when he just kept going, every sentence bleeding into the next. He jumped from one job to another, describing in excruciating detail how he rewrote authentication modules and optimized structured query language (SQL) queries.
Three minutes in, I leaned forward. “That part about your early project, could you explain how—”
He held up a hand. “Just a moment. I’ll come back to it.”
And continued. Didn’t miss a beat.
I blinked and exchanged a glance with Joanna, one of our senior developers. She raised an eyebrow, confused by Jake’s different behavior from the first interview.
Five minutes passed, then seven. It was Joanna’s turn to ask a question.
“Jake,” she said, gently interrupting, “Can you tell us—”
“I will, just give me one second.”
Another minute went by with him talking happily away.
He talked about why his second manager was difficult, about the office politics at his third job, and a conference he attended, including what the keynote speaker said. Every time we tried to redirect him, he’d wave us off and circle back to his own narrative.
By the 10-minute mark, I wasn’t smiling anymore. I was also stunned by how different Jake performed during more intense face-to-face interviews compared to the short initial one via video.
My other colleague, Max, gave it one last shot. “So how would you approach our current architecture?” he asked.
“Well,” Jake said, “first let me explain how I handled something similar back in 2018…”
I looked toward Aaron. He hadn’t said a word.
At the 15-minute mark, Jake launched into another monologue, arms animated now, his voice gaining speed.
I’d had enough!
I took a breath and leaned forward, ready to cut it short. “Thank you for sharing—”
But Aaron sat up, slowly closed his notepad, and looked Jake dead in the eye.
“Jake, you really have to shut up and listen.”
The room went quiet. Jake froze mid-sentence.
My jaw dropped!
My boss’s voice was calm but sharp.
“Maria did the greatest job preparing you for the interview. Thanks to her and your experience, you walked into this room with a 99 percent chance of getting the job. Now that chance is zero. The only reason is because, in less than 15 minutes, you’ve demonstrated that you can’t listen at all.”
Jake sat frozen, stunned.
Aaron stood. “So I’m telling you now, you’re not getting the job. But if you take anything away from this interview, let it be this: no matter how good you are technically, if you can’t listen, you’ll never excel in this career.”
He tucked his pen behind his ear, turned, and left the room.
No one spoke.
Jake looked at me, red-faced, eyes wide.
“Can we start again?” he asked quietly.
I stood too, heart sinking. That bonus was gone; so was my shot at the school deposit.
“Sorry, you had your chance,” I said. “Best of luck in your future interviews. Make sure you listen next time.”
He nodded, barely, and walked out.
I sat down and stared at the table. For the first time in a long time, I felt tears press against my eyes at work.
The following day, I opened my email and saw a message from payroll. An automatic notification: a bonus check had been deposited into my account!
Attached was a note, handwritten and scanned in from Aaron’s desk:
“You did your best. It’s not your fault.”
I actually teared up reading it! Not because of the money, though yes, that helped—but because someone noticed and appreciated it! I’d fought for Jake, went above and beyond, and even when it blew up in my face, someone saw the effort.
A week later, I hired another candidate. She wasn’t as flashy as Jake on paper, but she listened, asked good questions, and had a calm confidence I knew would thrive on our team.
We never looked back.
Then, a few months down the road, I went to Nate’s birthday party. It was just a small backyard barbecue at our mom’s place. I didn’t even know Jake would be there.
He approached me slowly, holding a plate of chips and salsa.
“Hey, Maria,” he said. “Can we talk?”
I set down my drink. “Sure.”
“I wanted to thank you,” he said. “Really. I didn’t understand at the time… but what happened in that room? It opened my eyes. I went home and replayed the interview in my head. I saw how often I cut you and your colleagues off, how much I just… talked.”
I gave a small smile. “It was a lot.”
He laughed. “It really was. But it made me realize something: I’d done that in every recent face-to-face interview. I can nail any online interview or video call, because they’re short and less pressure. But somehow, whenever I need to do it live, I panic and fumble things.”
I smiled and nodded, appreciating the realizations he’d made about himself.
“I think I also got a bit of a big head about my vast experience and felt I had to prove myself by filling the silence. But it turns out, silence is when they evaluate you most,” he said, chuckling.
“Exactly,” I said. “Listening is underrated.”
“Well,” he said, clearing his throat, “I did some work. Took a communication course, practiced mock interviews, and last month, I landed a job at a fintech startup! It’s not as big as your firm, but they’re giving me a shot.”
“That’s amazing, Jake! I’m proud of you!”
He looked nervous for the first time. “So… now that we’ve got that out of the way, any chance I could take you out sometime?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Only if you promise to listen.”
He grinned. “Deal!”
We both laughed, the tension from months ago finally dissolving into something warmer.
Sometimes, the hardest lessons lead to the best outcomes, not just for them, but for us too.
