My father didn’t soften his words. He was firm, cold, and final. He told me that if I chose to keep the baby and become a mother, then I would have to do it on my own. Shortly after that, I was pushed out of my family home and forced to move into a small rented apartment, carrying fear, shame, and uncertainty with me.
Yes, my parents paid the rent. They gave me an allowance. They covered my doctor visits until I managed to find a job. I won’t deny that. But money doesn’t hold your hand when you’re crying at night. Money doesn’t sit beside you when you’re scared. Is money really everything?
I gave birth alone. There was no mother squeezing my hand, no comforting voice telling me I’d be okay. I came home with a newborn and had to figure out everything by myself—feeding, bathing, soothing, surviving. I was still a kid in so many ways, yet I had to grow up instantly. Over the years, I raised three children with two different men, and both of them eventually left me to do it all alone.
My oldest is now a school-going daughter. My middle child is a son who just turned seven. My youngest is still an infant. Every milestone—every first step, every birthday, every achievement—came wrapped in stress, exhaustion, and tears. There was no mother to help after childbirth, no family checking in, no one asking if I was coping or breaking.
Being a single mom isn’t just hard—it’s relentless. There is no pause button. My entire existence revolves around my children. School drop-offs, daycare fees, childcare schedules, doctor visits, grocery lists, and making sure there’s food on the table—it never stops.
When one child gets sick, everything collapses. When the baby cries all night, I still have to wake up early the next morning to get everyone where they need to be. I haven’t sat with friends over coffee or taken a single solo holiday in years. My world has grown small, and every inch of it belongs to my children.
I’ve carried an infant while juggling jobs. I’ve denied myself even the smallest comforts so I could save for their future. I’ve stayed up late helping my daughter with homework while holding a crying baby, my body exhausted and my heart stretched thin.
This has been my life—day after day, year after year. And my family was never part of it. But some time ago, the father of two of my children passed away. He left behind a fairly large amount in child support and a nice home for the kids.
And suddenly, my family wanted back in.
I don’t even know how they found out, but they did. Not long ago, I received a call saying my parents are old and sick now. My mother has been in and out of the hospital. My father is struggling too.
All of a sudden, I mattered again. My brother reached out first. He talked about how expensive everything has become. He mentioned hospital bills, home care, and how families are supposed to stick together in times like these.
I told him I am not an ATM. I told him I cannot take responsibility for parents who refused to take responsibility for me. Two hours later, my heart sank when I received a text from my mother. It said, “You were always ungrateful as a kid, but I thought you’d have matured by now to appreciate what we did for you. Guess not.”
Appreciate what, exactly? Being raised comfortably? Having my basic needs met? Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do? I never shared emotional moments with my parents growing up. There were no deep conversations, no warmth, no safety. Yet now they’re painting me as a spoiled child—and honestly, it hurts more than I expected.
I’m not refusing to help out of anger or revenge. I’m refusing because I truly don’t have anything to give. The money I have belongs to my children. Years ago, my parents made their choice. They chose not to support their pregnant daughter. They chose not to be there during childbirth, during sleepless nights, or during years of struggle and survival.
Now they want help because they’re old, sick, and in the hospital. My brother keeps calling. He tells me I’m heartless. He says our mother is crying.
All of this pressure, guilt, and emotional manipulation has left me questioning myself late at night, staring at my sleeping children.
Am I really being too cruel for putting my children first?
