My mother recently called to invite me to Christmas dinner, but when I mentioned that my girlfriend of five years would be coming with me, she dropped a bombshell: my girlfriend wasn’t invited because we aren’t married. My mom has been nagging me for a wedding for years, but I never thought she’d use the holidays as leverage. When I told her I wouldn’t come without her, she just laughed and said, “She’s not family! Don’t be dramatic!”
I was boiling. I knew she was being passive-aggressive to force my hand, so I decided to stop playing her game. I booked a table for two at the most beautiful restaurant in the city. Then, I posted a picture of it on social media with the caption: “This will be where my little family will be having Christmas dinner. You are more valuable than an entire ungrateful family.”
To drive the point home, I decided that I was going to propose on Christmas Day. I made sure my sister—the biggest gossip in the family—knew about it and waited for the explosion. It didn’t take long. My sister called my girlfriend and accused her of “ruining a family event.” Then my mom called, screaming that I was “abandoning” the family. I told her the truth: they abandoned me first the moment they decided my partner of five years wasn’t welcome.
My siblings think I’m being selfish, and even my girlfriend is worried I’m being too harsh. But I’m not choosing between my family and my future wife—I’m choosing the person who actually makes me happy. If they want to be upset about it, that’s their problem.
